My motive for beginning this blog was selfish. When Michael Jackson died, and even a year later, I had so many pent up emotions I felt as if I would burst. Tormented by guilt and grief, the readers of this blog and countless friends on Twitter, Facebook and other social media have graciously allowed me to express my emotions; my outrage with the media and certain "fans", my anger over Michael's tragically preventable death, and most of all, my admiration for the man I consider to be the greatest enterainer and humanitarian the world has ever seen.Many of you know that my son Aaron passed away on Valentine's Day. I find myself back to that awful day in June, 2009. The searing pain, the indescribable sorrow, the questions, and intuitive knowledge that Aaron's death was preventable. The tears wax and wane, as it normally goes when someone you love dies. And yet, in the depths of despair, there are rays of light that shine through.
I reached out to you, my MJ family, and informed you of my son's death. I did that because I felt a responsibility to my friends, to not just disappear from Twitter or Facebook without an explanation. The overwhelming response of love and condolence I have received from you has been nothing short of miraculous.
The generosity that the MJ family has shown for me and for my family is far beyond what I can describe to you. Nearly $1400 has been donated to St. Jude's in my child's memory. I truly cannot describe what that means to me, and what that would have meant to my son. The comments on the St. Jude's page have given me peace and solace at a time when I didn't think that was possible. In particular, this comment below touched my heart:
The thought that Michael, along with family members and friends, are together in Heaven is something that I had not considered, but gave me a sense of peace.This is what Michael Jackson did for us, my friends. He brought us together, in good times and in the absolute worst of scenarios, to be a family. I am forever indebted to Michael Jackson, and I'm equally indebted to those who have shown love and kindness to me and my son in my darkest hour.
Remember to tell your kids that you love them. Urge them to get medical help for symptoms, even if they resist. My deepest regret is that I did not march Aaron into a sleep apnea center, and force him to get the help he needed. It is nearly impossible to get past that; to move to a place other than a mother who failed their child when he needed her.
I thank each and every one of you for holding my hand at this time. I love all of you, along with Michael, and most of all, I loved my son Aaron, and pray that he is now resting peacefully, holding Michael's hand and waiting for me to arrive.
20 comments:
We are behind you darlin..
We are behind you darlin..
Behind the haze of clouds, beneath the dancing moon, next to the sparkling stars, left for the Milky Way and right by the Heart of the Universe, there'll you see Aaron. Laughing and trying to learn the moonwalk like only one person could ever do properly while holding Michael's hand. Surrounded by love they're at Neverland, waiting for you to come and join them. But they're in no hurry; there are simply too many stories to tell and laughter to share before that time comes <3
You are not alone, Justice, we're all here with and for you....just call our name, and we'll be there!
x0x0x0x0x0,
Junky
Mommy, please don't be sad
I miss you so much too.
It's so beautiful up here
but I worry a lot about you.
I sleep with angels watching me
there is only love up here.
I am never lonely or afraid
because God is so very near.
I watch over u & pray for u
& I hear when u pray for me too.
Please Mommy, don't be mad at God
you see He loves me too.
& even though u may not see me
I've never left you.
so sorry
debbie
clearmjsname/mjsinvincible
When You feel Lonely
When a person you love passes away
Look to the night sky on a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one,
Looking upon you during the night.
The lights of heaven are what shows through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.
Author unknown
We are with you on this difficult journey. With arms outstretched to embrace a fragile heart or to hold your hand.
xx
When You feel Lonely
When a person you love passes away
Look to the night sky on a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one,
Looking upon you during the night.
The lights of heaven are what shows through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.
Author unknown
We are with you on this difficult journey. With arms outstretched to embrace a fragile heart or to hold your hand.
xx
Please don't feel guilty for not getting him to a sleep center. You didn't know. I can't imagine the pain you feel, but I do sympathize with you. The loss if a child must be the hardest pain to go through. Just know, the Michael family lives and supports you! God bless you and your family.
I am so sorry to hear about your son passing. My brother passed at age 30.. I just want to express to you that you can not blame yourself... see my brother was told he had a heart problem and would not make it to 30 but he chose to ignore it. My mother tried to take him to the Drs. office and he just was in denial.. My mother had a very hard time after his passing ..but I do know that you can not make some one do something they do not want to do!
I also know nothing can take the hurt away ...I feel so bad and If there is anything I can do please feel free to contact me and you know how to reach me! I will be here for you ..after all we are all family here the World Wide MJJ family! ~Much Love to you my dear friend~
Though I am far away , I am praying for you and your family..
The Michael Jackson community truly is a community , here for one and other in good times and the worst of times..
We are all here for you..Sending you a hug my friend.
You're MJ family is with you during this very difficult time. Sending love and prayers your way, Justice.
So Sorry..... I dont know how to begin, or how to reach out to you, you know i am not good with words,, it always comes out,, BLAAAAH..
My deepest and sincere condolences are all i have to offer, I pray they bring you some kind of peace.
PRAYER:
God looked around His garden
And found an empty place.
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you
And lifted you to rest.
God’s garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He saw the road was getting rough
And the hills were hard to climb,
So He closed your weary eyelids
And whispered "Peace be thine".
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
Taaj
I am home in Heaven, dear ones:
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this Everlasting Light.
All the pain and grief are over!
Every restless yearning past;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely Home in Heaven at last.
Dear one, do not grieve so sorely,
For I love you dearly still;
Try to look beyond earth’s shadows,
Pray to trust Our Father’s Will.
When your work is completed,
He will gently call you Home;
Oh! the rapture of that meeting!
Oh, the joy to see you come
Taaj>> Please dont go, not like this,, If you need ANYTHING!!! PLEASE CONTACT ME, i will do whatever i can to help!!! i am so sorry,, so sorry hun, love you very much, tightest hugs
I am so sorry to hear your lose. My heart melted when I read your post. Please Remember your child just left his body but he is still alive in spirit. We are immortal beings, living forever and ever.
Your child is now with Michael happy and loving and protecting you forever until you meet again.
Justice, there are no words; God has your son securely wrapped in his loving arms and will never let go.
Been Thinking about you.......Taaj ☞
"She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?'
The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.'
Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'
The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair?' the nurse asked.. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.'
Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said :
Cont......
'Dear Mom,
I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say'I Love You' . I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
Don't be sad thinking about me.. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? G od handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'where was He when I needed him?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross He was right there, as He always is with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life . Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great..
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore the cancer is all gone... I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me
By UnKnown Author,, Not me
Dear Justice,
Since I heard the news, I'm lost for words. I don't know what to say to a mother that lost her kid. I don't know how to make it better. So I'm like a fool that only says "I'm here whenever you need me" but doesn't know how to be there.
I also admit this blog post hit my core, made me cry as well as made me adore you more and see your unbelievable heart and strength.
I love you with all my heart.
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